my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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