If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
