You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
