So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize