sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
