I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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