with your own penis?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
wat bout pragnant strippers??
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
