Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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