Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
