I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
