Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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