a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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