how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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