Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
