Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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