Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
