Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
