Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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