Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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