North Korea, Best Korea!
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
