Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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