Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
