When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize