Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
