Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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