the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
