the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Farmville is her only friend.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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