sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize