In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
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