just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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