you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
