Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
false alarm, still single
Randomize
