apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
