I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Randomize
