U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
