You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
