I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
