based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
