so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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