Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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