I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
