do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
