Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize