I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
