I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
