I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
