What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
