As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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