Define "chronic" masturbator.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
