defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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