Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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