Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
