it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i think we sleep fucked last night...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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