dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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