i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
