So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
