Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
