Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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