Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
