We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
