He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just found a bag of teeth...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
