Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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