another moral hangover. fuck.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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