I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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