"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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