I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Randomize
