i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
