those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
