Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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