I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
