im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
