I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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