Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
