I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
