i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
