yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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