Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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