So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
